Exams in less than 12 hours... Good luck to all those taking exams soon. I'll probably be studying for ORDS almost immediately after tomorrows paper. I hope I can cover everything... Actually I hope I can remember what I've studied... Pray for me people!!
I was late for church today. Dale had to print the birthday card for Ivy... Missed worship. :-( Stanley spoke today... Repeated what he said from the teaching on wednesday.
I've signed it... I think sooner or later, there won't be any trace that I've actually existed. Well... I'm sure its all for the best. There's no need to brood over it. If its in Gods plan, then so be it. I will not force anything. Ziig made me realise something else while we were studying just now. I'll have to make sure that I don't push things. Going to sleep now.
::: Lyric of the Day :::
Well we never made it through another day
And it's all because you had to have it your way
So lucky you
I wonderin' when I'll be OK
If it's never than it's never
| Good afternoon... these few days have been quite eventful, found out even more things. Contemplating what it'd be like... Would it be a wise move? Questions with no confirmed answers. The best thing to do is to let it slide. Or rather, let it slip away... I'm better off not doing anything. This is always the case. It was easier last time because I knew certain things. Now I have no clue... Torn between two worlds. As if the choice was mine. I think I'll fold... I'll pack up and leave. I'll keep what I have left. They say you can't win big without risk... Thats what the biggest losers said as well... Will I run away again or will I face it... My hands are tied. I'm restricted by my own words... Shot myself in the foot, so to speak. It doesn't mean anything... But it could. I want it to. But actions speak louder than words... It isn't up to me. Words annulled in the space of a week. Be careful what you say... Words are powerful weapons. Your words define you. I wonder whether the shrapnel of broken promises could kill... It could. But I'm not hurt. This worthless rubbish cannot hurt me now. It cannot stumble me now. I'm strengthened. I'm strong. I know where to put my hope. I know I can survive... I know I can live. No worries. No need to struggle. Regenerate. I'm coming back to life. Smile. Laugh. Joy never hurt anyone. The future is bright. No need to be anxious. Providence. Remember. |
I got the quote below from another blog... I think it says a lot. Firstly about the numbing a person part.. I can testify to that. For me, when I was in love, nothing else mattered. Blinded by my own selfishness...
I think it is a blessing that you feel lonely. why do I say that? Those who can feel the pain of loneliness are gifted with the ability to understand those who don't feel loved out there. You can reach out your hand and do so with the greatest intentions and understanding, because you know how it feels. Being satisfied, and not feeling lonely, does nothing but numb a person with a paralyzing complacency.
Theres another example of human nature for you.
Maybe this really was necessary for me to grow up and mature. So many people are looking for God and I've found Him... How fortunate am I? One relationship for another... But this one lasts forever... I guess I'm better off.
Dear Lord, I want to come back to the basics again... I've been inadvertently distracted by people and things that I have to do. I've let myself be surrounded with all this to drown out the lonliness... Lord, help me remember that all I need is You. I'm nothing without You. Amen.
Good morning world... Staying up to watch Manchester United Vs. Real Madrid later at 2:30am. Don't know whether they are capable of winning. Thats the fun about soccer... Its so unpredictable! I'm going to be super tired later... Have to be in school at 9am for a lecture. :P I'll probably come home to sleep after that.
Was at church just now for a teaching by Stanley on healing... I've heard most of it before. He was laying down the foundation for the others. I think it was the first time for some people. Stanley impresses me with his knowledge of scripture. The way he's so familiar with the bible. Hope I can be like that some time.
I stumbled across this Acrophonology thingy... I don't believe in these things. Its not very accurate either. Just found it interesting. heheh...
NAME ANALYSIS FOR: Daryl Goh
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Daryl:
Your world, good or bad, revolves around your family. You are determined and loyal, and your word is your bond. You have much enthusiasm with a driving attitude toward achievement in life. You enjoy a challenge. You can take thought-directed actions. Your independence and freedom are important to you. You have a diplomatic flair to your nature. Equality and fairness are important to you.
Goh:
You strive for perfection and worry when things don't turn out just so. You enjoy doing a job well. You tend to procrastinate. You have a great deal of loyalty to those you love. You have much inner strength. You work hard to achieve material success through your own efforts.
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::: Verse of the Day :::
"For God did not appoint us to suffer wrath but to receive salvation through our Lord Jesus Christ. He died for us so that, whether we are awake or asleep, we may live together with him." | 1 Thessalonians 5:9-10 |
::: Lyric of the Day :::
We want more than this world's got to offer
We want more than the wars of our fathers
And everything inside screams for second life
We were meant to live for so much more
Have we lost ourselves?
Good evening... I've been juggling studies and making new songs for the band... We've gotten a few new tunes. Not as simple as the ones I've started with. Need to start writing new lyrics. :P
I've been reading another book by C.S. Lewis... Its called 'Mere Chrisitianity'. I wouldn't have started reading it if Jolynn hadn't asked me about it. Anyway, I'm constantly impressed by the depth of Lewis' thinking. Many times I've wanted to ponder about these things but I've never been able to focus and get my thoughts straight. My IQ isn't as high as his... Haha.
This is one of the things that I've been reflecting on constantly. As my life returns to 'normal' I find myself drifting? I find myself depending less on Him? I've been asking myself, "Daryl, do you need another crisis? Do you need to be broken again?"
Don't wait for crisis to bring you to your knees. Come to God on your knees. Then when unfortunate things happen, you're already close to Him. Then you won't have to ask where God is when you need Him. But thats not human nature. Human nature forgets God when things are going well. Human nature takes things for granted. Thats what I've been battling with now. I got the quote below from someone I was chatting with on ICQ... Makes me wonder about myself. Isn't my attitude often like that?
I'll go spend time with God now.
::: Quote of the Day :::
"Yes i know, but doing is a different thing."
hand holding - you like to be in constant physical
contact with your special someone but you don't
want to take things too quickly.
What Sign of Affection Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla
Good afternoon! I think I may have put across the wrong idea in my last entry. I was down because I'm frustrated at myself for feeling awkward whenever I see her. That doesn't mean I want her back? I haven't been asking for a long time about whether she'll come back because I know that God has a wonderful plan for me.Thanks for the concern, chooselife, but thats not the issue here. I was trying to put across that God is my comfort and my strength. That He always has something to encourage me with and those encouragements always come with a overwhelming peace. I really appreciate the comments though. So many comments from people I don't know! I hope don't offend anyone with my writing.
I don't know whether I'll be going to school today. Supposed to be studying with some of my classmates. Don't feel like going. :P I'll probably study at home. Just gonna download the lecture slides. I think I'll start after lunch. hahaha!
::: Lyric of the Day :::
Could you let down your hair
And be transparent for a while
Just a little while
See if you're human after all
Honesty is a hard attribute to find
When we all want to seem like we've got it all figured out
I may be the first to say that I don't have a clue
I don't have all the answers
Good evening people... I dunno what to make of my life now. To be honest with myself, its not something I really need. But I want it so badly. I miss the feeling of having someone to hold, someone to belong to... I have to hang in there. I shan't give up. I shan't give in. Everywhere I go, people are in relationships or talking about relationships. Its as if there're trying to spite me... But I know my mind is just trying to play tricks on me. I wish I could just stop thinking about them.
Just got home from Tampines Mall... Watched 'Johnny English' with the CG guys... It was a funny nonsensical show. Haven't laugh at such stupidity in a long time... :-) Bumped into Eileen again after the show. She was with this guy... Dunno whether it was the same one from last time. That same old sinking feeling came again. I don't know whats wrong with me. I just had a chat with Patricia before the movie about whether I was over her. About whether I could cope if she was to join our CG again. I guess I'm not? I can't even think of what to say whenever I see her.
I saw her on thursday night when the I went with some friends to 'BFD'.... Its this bar at East Coast Park. We went to check out the band there. I couldn't seem to talk to her. I would just be speechless whenever I saw her...
When I got home at around 2-ish... I found that I was locked out of my house. I had left my keys in my drumstick bag which was in church! Was in the process of making myself comfortable to sleep outside the house when she called... Apparently she wanted to transfer ownership of her handphone because she wanted a new sim card or something. It was bought under my name. We talked awhile. (Quite comfortably. I'm only silent when I see her.) How can anyone who changed so much still be so much the same? I would have chatted more with her if my phone hadn't died...
There is turmoil within me... Wanted to cry just now. Wanted to brood about it... But the lyrics below came to mind. You see what I mean when I say God never fails? You'd think He'd be sick of me and my whining by now... I don't want to be like this anymore. What can I learn from this? How do I improve myself through this?
::: Lyric of the Day :::
When peace like a river attendeth my way
When sorrows like sea billows roll
Whatever my lot, Thou hast taught me to say
It is well, it is well with my soul
My sin, O the bliss of this glorious thought
My sin, not in part but the whole
Is nailed to the cross and I bear it no more
Praise the Lord, Praise the Lord, O my soul
It is well (it is well)
With my soul (with my soul)
It is well, it is well with my soul
Good afternoon... I didn't go to school today. Feeling kinda lazy.. Another point has been proven in my favour... But I shouldn't judge people.
Had a chat with Eileen on ICQ last night. Its quite shocking to see whats she's becoming... Is it rebellious phase that most teens have to go through? I can remember when I had an attitude like hers. But I didn't tell anyone what my thoughts were. Does it mean that because she has the guts to put things in the open that she's any worse? Just hafta thank God that she'll be coming back to church soon. I've seen people fall away and not return for very long. I pray that she won't be one of those. Cos once anyone reaches that stage, its very hard to get out of it.
To be frank, I'm kinda sick of the world... I'm sick of the facades that people put up. This includes myself. I'm sick of trying to read in between the lines and look over the walls that people put up. I'm sick of being burdened & worried for people...
But thats what you asked for didn't you? This is what you wanted... To be used by Me...
Yeah... I did. But I never thought it would be this hard...
Like you always tell people, if you rely on your own strength, sooner or later you'll fail. Rely on me... I am your strength!
I give strength to the weary and increase the power of the weak.
You will grow tired and weary, You will stumble and fall;
but if you place your hope in Me, you will renew your strength.
You will soar on wings like eagles, you will run and not grow weary, you will walk and not be faint.
Thank You God...
::: Quote of the Day :::
"the things of the world may seem attractive at first but will never fully satisfy..."
Your patient has become humble; have you drawn attention to the fact? All virtues are less formidable to us once the man is aware that he has them, but this is specially true of humilty. Catch him at the moment when he is really poor in spirit and smuggle into his mind the gratifying reflection, "By jove! I'm being humble," and almost immediately pride -- pride at his own humility -- will appear. If he awakes to the danger and tries to smother this new form of pride, make him proud of his attempt -- and so on, through as many stages as you please. But don't try this too long, for fear you awake his sense of humour and proportion, in which case he will merely laugh at you and go to bed.
Good morning world... Above is an excerpt from 'The Screwtape Letters' by C.S. Lewis... I found it very interesting as I've experienced things like this before. Humilty is trait that I consider to be very important. The type that knows that they have been doing well, thanks God for the God-given ability and remains silent about it. There's no need to be vocal about your achievements.
Matthew 6:1 says, "Take care not to do your good deeds publicly or before men, in order to be seen by them; otherwise you will have no reward [reserved for and awaiting you] with and from your Father Who is in heaven."
It is repeated quite a few times in Matthew 6... God will reward good things done in secret. Credit will be given where credit is due. Which brings me to another point... Some people are the opposite. Too humble that they put themselves down. The type that says, "Oh no... I'm not good at this and this" or "It was by luck" when they have been blessed with talents.
I'm very impressed by the way Saint Paul spoke in the bible. It may have seemed he was boastful. But he was confident not of his own abilities or achievements. He was confident in God. I'm been trying to be like him... Its interesting to catch myself trying to fish for compliments sometimes. Human nature is like that... but I know that with God's help I can do it.
Which British Band Are You?
Hey world... watched 'Oliver' just now with Lynette. It wasn't really good. Kinda shallow... I read the book when I was quite young and I thought the storyline was more dynamic than what the musical gave credit for... Enjoyed talking to Lynette though!! :-)
Worship as usual was wonderful. There was a difference today with the congregation. Something different from last week. Praise God for that... Led up to the wonderful sermon by Reverend Tony Tan. It was a multi-pointed sermon. Brought across in such a way that there was something for everyone... And I thank God that they were really listening. I was brought to tears of joy as I saw how wonderfully God answers prayers! Its coming!!!
::: Verses of the Day :::
"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.
And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable (if anything is excellent or praiseworthy)think about such things.
Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me--put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you."
| Philippians 4:6-9 |
Good morning!!! I just finished washing up... Got back from East Coast Park. I had a fantastic time. Spent time getting to know new people, getting to know people better and playing soccer. Hahaha...
God is good... This whole day has been one of answered prayer. Firstly, the weather was great... It was neither too hot, nor too wet... It did drizzle very lightly but nothing that threatened the program or the barbecue. The turn out was quite good. I enjoyed the dance item by 'seven'. It was surprisingly good. Could see from the dance who was the choreographer. Joyce was the only one who could really move... haha.
Our skit wasn't too bad either... Had a slight problem with the volume of some of the actors and actresses. It was an open air performance. My scene didn't have that problem because there was a lot of shouting. A few people patted me on the back and said I acted well... :)
After that, Nathan from 'Ignite' played 'a love song' for the people. It was beautiful. The whole crowd was silent and attentive. Praise God...
Gotta go to bed soon. Playing for service tomorrow. Goodnight.
::: Lyric of the Day :::
Well I havent drawn it or figured out quite yet
But even if it takes my whole life
To get to where I need to be
And if I should fall to the bottom of the end
I'll be one step back to you
I'm trying to find my way
trying to find my way
Hello world... Just a quick update before I go for lectures. Was awakenened this morning by the excessively loud ringtone version of 'a thousand miles' by vanessa carlton... At 8 in the morning!!! Bleah... Anyway, a friend had a problem and she was crying. I couldn't register what the heck she was saying because I was still groggy with sleep. Took 5 minutes to get my mind alert. After a while, I finally understood what she was saying... Started praying for her even as she talked about what was troubling her. In the end, it seems that things would work out. Its kinda sweet to see that they still care for each other... :)
I had a communication skills (CMSK)test just now. This time we were supposed to re-enact a meeting. We were part of this clean and green committee and we had to think of what to organise for clean and green awareness week. I was picked to be the secretary of the meeting. It was going quite well except that the lights kept switching themselves off every few minutes during the meeting. We had to wave our hands about to get the sensors to switch on the lights again. All this while thinking of what to contribute to the meeting.
There's no jamming today because we're all busy with projects. The auditions have been postponed to next week too... I'll be rushing my project tonight. I might go catch a movie at 9 plus tonight. Depends on how much I can finish. Have to decide between 'the core' and 'the recruit'. Gotta go for lectures now... I'm late!! harhar!
Good evening... My mind is blank now. I need to do my project but I can't get started on it again.
I wrote the previous post on the spur of the moment. Its a song directed at myself in case any of you were wondering... I suddenly had this feeling of inadequacy.
An attack? Maybe.
Just finished preparing personal praise & worship. Gonna spend time with God now...
A Song for the Reflection
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
You speak as if you know it all
When your words hold as much integrity as a fool.
You speak of blessings and grace and mercy
but you're as blind as the ones you speak of.
You talk about leading a blameless life
when you're just as sinful as the rest
You're weak, useless and easily tempted
Don't ever think you're better than anyone
Forgive me, God
for I am filthy and unclean.
Forgive me, God
take away my sin.
I have no excuse to fall
I'm never tempted beyond what I can bear
I can give no reason to justify
I'm sorry... so sorry.
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Good evening... wrote this in the afternoon during my break...
Had worship practice yesterday. Stephanie is leading next week. Playing drums for her songs is really tiring. Its not just that 3 out of 6 songs are fast. Its the fact that there are so many stops in between. Many technical things to remember. :P
Roy (bassist) said my drumming had improved a lot. Heheh.. I feel I improve more when I play for church then when I play for my own band. I guess its a blessing that God gives when I put Him first and serve Him with my talents. My band (CheapThrills) is simply for leisure and entertainment. Sure... I will take it seriously. But if I had to choose between doing something for God and having to play in the band. I would choose God.
Yesterday, Pastor Lee spoke about God's plan for us to have abundant life... ABUNDANT!!! Full, even till its overflowing. Not a life of depression, discontent or deception! Not a life in fear of circumstances, be it war, disease or anything like that. I sensed a difference in the way he preached. It could be seen in the way he talked and even in his eyes. It was so powerful. But when he invited those who wanted to receive this abundant life to stand. Very few people stood. It was so sad. On one hand, they're crying out for help... They're crying out to experience God. But when its put in front of them, they don't see it. I couldn't take it... I wanted to shout at them to wake up... I was crying for them all the way from Holy Communion till after the service. Prayed for them in the Spirit. I cried out to Him and asked Him open their eyes and soften their hearts. Also for Him to use me somehow to tell them of what they have as Christians! It was so disturbing when I glanced from the corner of my eye and so practically ALL the youths sitting down. It was as if they weren't listening!!! Its a burden in my Spirit. I MUST pray for them.
I'll be meeting some of the people from onWord and Solar Energy (My cell) to rehearse for the skit. There're quite a lot of things to polish up before the BBQ this saturday. We might be having pizza for dinner tomorrow. YAY! Oh yah... This invitation is to everyone who reads my blog. There's a BBQ this saturday at East Coast Park. It officially starts at 6pm. 4:30pm for those who wanna play games before. Its at BBQ pit 23 & 24. Drop me an email if you wish to go... : )
Sometimes I wonder at why people can't see His goodness even when its right there in front of them. Then a still small voice reminds me. "Daryl... You were like that once."
Then I shut up...
"Dear Lord... I thank you for everything you've been to me this past few months. I thank you that You're always there for me, even when I occasionally forget about You. Lord, I still want to be used by You. Lord, help me as I empty myself of my desires and replace them with Your supreme will for my life. Lord, I'm deeply troubled by the Spiritual state of the youth in church. But help me not to take things into my own hands. Lord, I believe that changes are taking place. Thank You Jesus. For our good and Your Glory, I pray, Amen..."
::: Verse of the Day :::
"The thief comes only in order to steal and kill and destroy. I (Jesus) came that they may have and enjoy life, and have it in abundance (to the full, till it overflows)"
| John 10:10 (AMP) |
Evening... Went to meet Andy in church today. We did some sort of bible study and talked about leadership things. We both agreed that I wouldn't be ready to take on a responsibility as big as camp commandant. He challenged me to pray about being assistant camp commandant. I have until next week to give an answer.
After the bible study, we helped Jemelle to destroy some accounts documents. We had to tear the documents by hand cos there was only one miserable paper shredder which could only shred 25 pieces of paper at one go. Andy and I managed to finish one small box. I think there were 4 large boxes left to be done. We left that to the others to finish. Tearing the paper was quite enjoyable. It brought this sense of satisfaction with every stack of papers that I ripped. People should pay money to be able to tear paper. I believe that there are therapeutic effects. Hahah...
Andy and I left for Orchard cos Andy had to meet Valerie to buy her wedding dress. The 3 of us went for dinner at this food court at Lucky Plaza. The food there was really good. I had claypot baked rice with bacon and egg. After that I had a plate of chicken rice and orange juice. I wonder where all the food goes...? I left the both of them alone after dinner and made my way to Border's... Its my favourite place in Orchard!!! I finally bought the Finch album... YAY!
Headed back to kem where I met Matt and erm... Teabag... The 3 of us made our way to Ziig's place to eat pizza. Well they ate the pizza... I was already very full... Dennis (MusicVox president) came later. Then we had a good natured argument about what type of music we could play at the audtion. Apparently, emo-punk wasn't allowed. :P
 |
Neutral: Harmony and balance is key. You don't look at the world in a negative or positive way and you'll never judge or assume a situation. You just look at the facts. People like you are peaceful and accepting. |
How true...
Goodnight!
Just got home... I'm disappointed and a bit angry at some people. Wonder why they can't be more considerate. Maybe I'm too sensitive but I doubt so because this isn't the first time something like this has happened. I think I'll let it slide this time. Will talk to them about it.
Played CS in the afternoon. Its been awhile... hahah!!! Played 2 matches and won both of them. I am so out of touch but it was still very fun.
A group of us (Matthew, Zach, Denise, Cheng and myself) headed down to this western food stall at Lorong Masjid. The food is killer! Best low-priced western food I've ever tasted. Managed to convince the uncle to give us a free basket of garlic bread. muahaha.
Life has been good lately. I dunno what it is. Feel this sense of satisfaction everyday knowing that I don't have to worry about a thing as long as I'm living according to His Word. Peace amidst this chaotic world. I know that I can bring my childlike problems and my tired, broken, weary heart to God and he'll make something beautiful out of it. This is the whole point. This is what grace is all about. This is what keeps me going everyday. There are too many blessings to speak of. There are too many things to give thanks for. There are too many things that prevent me from emo-ing anymore. Not that I sometimes don't feel like doing it. I just choose not to focus of the things that bring me down. Sounds easy doesn't it? I wouldn't have been able to do it if I didn't have God with me. :P
::: Lyric of the Day :::
When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears
I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have... All of me...
Good morning people... I'm in school now. Need to get started on my STMD project already. Gonna do the layout first, then the database, then whatever else that needs to be done.
The pianist is an excellent show. A little bit draggy but I enjoyed every part of it. So many types of people and characters in the movie. It was really interesting. Was saddened by the way the Jews were being treated. It was refreshing to see how they reacted to it. I've always thought of the treatment of the Jews as something to read in History books. Not as something real... I think thats a problem I have. I don't actually understand or believe until I've seen with my own eyes or if I've experienced it myself. It was an excellent film. It made me think and thats always good! 4.5 out of 5!!!
Hopefully we'll be going for jamming later. Shen and Fabian might not be able to make it. Need to practice for the auditions. MusicVox Resident band. Muahahaha!!!!
Good morning world... I'm in the lab now... The lesson just ended. I'm now doing a remedial exercise cos I failed the term test for this subject. :P Had a nice chat with Lynette just now. She slipped and fell yesterday. She seems to be alright though. Seemed quite cheerful this morning. I'm gonna go down to Plaza Singapura to watch 'the pianist'. It starts at 1:45pm... Will leave after I finish my work.
Got something to share. Last night, I was lying in bed... It was around 1-ish am... I found that I couldn't go to sleep. Felt that God wanted me to get up and write down some verses for the mega praise. There's this thrill that I get everytime I think about leading the worship. Not that I want to show off or anything. Its just that the thought helping a roomful of people experience God is soooo.... fulfilling!!! hahaha.... Anyway, I didn't want to do it at first cos I was tired. But I still couldn't sleep. So I asked God that if He really wanted me to do this, He'd give me strength for today. Then I got up and wrote down some verses about seeking God and about worshipping Him. He kept His promise(as usual)... I'm not tired at all today. And this is after playing soccer yesterday!!! MUAHAHAHAH!
Cheng is in the lab with me now... He's playing some silly game hahaha... I'm going to leave soon... Going to eat then head down to Plaza Singapura. Supposed to call the band to ask if they can jam tomorrow. Hope everyone can make it... tata!!!
Hello... My calf hurts. Song kicked me during soccer... Not intentionally. I sprayed 'Air Salonpas' but it still hurts now... Can't walk properly.
I wanted to go catch 'the pianist' but they only have shows at 9-ish pm... I see if I can catch a movie tomorrow...
Can't think of what to update now. I think its cos I'm tired. Gonna go to bed now. Night all...
::: Lyric of the Day :::
I can't be losing sleep over this
no, I can't
and now I cannot stop pacing
give me a few hours
I'll have this all sorted out
if my mind would just stop racing
I cannot stand still
I can't be this unsturdy
this cannot be happening
The Visits
